Overeating :/

Eating out tonight was a very poor choice. I think the salt levels alone are probably making me sick. So bloated. I probably gained 9 million pounds tonight. (That's a rough estimate, of course.)

I had black bean soup and part of my Mom's nachos. The soup was great (sooooo tasty) but I wish I would have stopped there! I would have saved myself this over-stuffed feeling and about 700 calories. :(

This is one mistake I hope to not make again. I'm starting to realize that I eat every meal as if it will be my last one ever. I can't pass up my favorite foods because I feel like I'll never have them again. Ever. Ever. Ever! Which is totally dumb! And nothing tastes as good as the first bite and the last.

So hear's to smaller portions and if I have to have something, only dishing out a just enough to be satisfied.

I recently moved from my college town back in with my parents. Which is great because it's rent-free and as long as I chip in with stuff, there's not many bills here for me to tackle. I mothereved because I was in a lousy, dark place and was seriously going nowhere--probably backward, actually.

I used to be an extremely motivated and driven woman. I was involved in school, in work, in my relationships, and in my activities. I was proud of who I was, even if I did have a dark day or two.

Beginning My Journey

I suppose I should start this post off with my reasons why I am starting this blog. Not to give you TMI, but this afternoon while I was showering, I looked down and saw my tummy, not my toes. At first my reaction was that this was normal. Yes, I sighed loudly and felt bad, but hey, this was just how my life was. I am fat. And that's just how life is. But, wait, that's not true. I did this to myself. Not being able to see past your gut and to your pretty painted toes is just plain sad.

Standing under the hot water, I decided that there is no more excuses. I have nearly one hundred pounds to lost to be in my healthy weight range and that's my goal. Not just to be thin, but to be healthy. Surely I could lose weight on a crazy diet, or by hurting my body with starvation, or whatever else crazy information I could find out there...but that's not what I am going to do.

For once, I am not going to take the easy way out. It will not be a cakewalk. (Yes, I am already thinking about cake and I'm only twenty minutes into this life change.) It will probably seem impossible. I will probably cry. A lot. And maybe yell a little bit. Regardless, I want to do this. I need to do this. This is my journey to lose weight, get fit, become healthier, become more balanced, and hopefully, find my "happy" again.

If anyone is reading, are you on your own journey? What's your story? Are you also tired of always grabbing your "fat jeans" because the others won't fit? Any advice for a newbie finally taking her life in her own hands? :)